Practice Makes Progress
How your practice might benefit from what tests it.
For a while now, I’ve been struggling with anxiety more than usual. I’ve felt the need to prioritize and practice slowing down, patience, and letting go.
Interestingly, this past week, a few of the days unfolded events that really tested my practice.
Mostly everyone I crossed paths with were either in a hurry, overwhelmed, tired, frustrated, irritated, or angry, which unraveled some unfortunate situations.
On one of the days, a co-worker lost work related materials in a hurry to work. She emailed her supervisor about it, who then emailed me to assist her in locating lost material, help her order temporary materials, and if not found, then initiate the process of ordering new materials. Instantly, she became angry as she was too tired and overwhelmed to go through that hassle. Her frustration was obvious as she coordinated with me about it. Shortly after speaking with me, she took a sick day, and went home. It left me anxious because I was tasked to complete her time-sensitive work, alongside mine.
On another day, I missed two car accidents by minutes. The first car accident had occurred on an intersection about 1-minute after I walked across the crosswalk. I heard a loud bang that led me to quickly turn around to see a car pulling over to the right-hand side of the street and a totaled car in the middle of the intersection.
Thoughts about the people involved, how one of them must have been in a hurry or inconsiderately speeding, and me missing it by 1-minute provoked anxious feelings.
Similarly, the second car accident involved one car pulled over to left hand side of a two-lane overpass bridge and another one totaled in the left lane. I was driving home after work in the left lane about 5-minutes before it happened, when traffic quickly slowed down, and eventually came to a halt. All the cars pulled over to the moving right lane. Absurdly, as soon as I drove past the accident, the car behind me impatiently cut me off and sped off past the speed limit. I was shocked at how people can drive recklessly even after witnessing a distraught driver standing near their totaled vehicle.
One thing after another needled anxiety, which got the best of me.
I felt like prioritizing and practicing slowing down, patience, and letting go wasn’t effective at all.
But then, toward the end of this week, I caught myself consumed by what had unfolded, and how it had or could’ve affected me. It was the awareness behind the thoughts. The light that beams through dark clouds and brings about an “ah ha” moment.
I realized the people I crossed paths with and the situations that unraveled were exactly what I needed to strengthen my practice of slowing down, patience, and letting go.
Perhaps, the angry co-worker and time-sensitive tasks were exactly what I needed to practice patience, and the two car accidents to practice slowing down and letting go.
What happens in life is unforeseeable, and when events that are difficult to deal with occur, it’s best to allow it to unfold as it’s meant to, so we may learn and grow from it, instead of carrying its weight.
We can slow down to truly be conscious of what’s unraveling. This helps thoughts and nerves settle down so we can see a clear picture. We can be patience as there are many moving pieces. This helps us become aware of and find the lesson we may need to learn. And we can let go because what unravels will eventually dissipate. This helps us journey through life without always carrying a load and with more ease.
It’s important to note that what tests us might just be what we need to strengthen and progress in our practices.
With Love,
Jasmine
I’m currently reading Letting Go by David R. Hawkins, which is really helping me practice surrendering to and letting of anxious feelings.
I’m also currently reading a few pages of A Walk in the Wood: Meditations on Mindfulness with a Bear Named Pooh by Dr. Joseph Parent and Nancy Parent to help calm my nerves and wind down before bed. If you grew up watching Winnie the Pooh like me, then you’ll love reading it, too!