Dear friend,
Lately, I’ve realized that surrendering to and accepting what is, is all that we can do.
Two months ago, I published my first welcome newsletter on Substack. I was happy to have begun this journey in hope of my writing connecting with community members.
Unfortunately, a few days later, I injured the left side of my neck and upper back while exercising. I thought I pulled a muscle that would heal within a few days. However, a week into it, the pain only got worse and caused tingling and numbing in my left arm. I had multiple medical tests confirming the progressive weakness to it. My doctor believed it might’ve been because of the severe muscle inflammation suppressing my nerves. I was advised to take pain medication and rest.
That’s all I did for the next eight weeks.
A few weeks into Heal, Grow, & Ripen being live, I deactivated the account as I struggled to write. Matter of fact, I couldn’t do much of anything, from making my meals to driving to my medical appointments. My husband had to help me out a lot. I wasn’t used to it, and it frustrated me to have to rely on someone else to assist me with daily routine tasks.
Now, nine weeks later, and because of the ample amount of time I’ve had to recuperate, I’m able to do things like slowly make my bed and write this newsletter! Per my doctor’s recommendation, I’ll be doing physical therapy for the next several weeks to help strengthen my left arm.
Although those eight weeks were mentally and physically challenging, they also brought about eye openers and a sense of peace within.
For the longest time, I’ve dealt with severe anxiety, and it didn’t fail to surface during these past two months. Yet, I was able to become aware of the instances that aggravated my anxiety. It was during all the moments that I needed a sense of control and certainty, such as when I couldn’t make a sandwich for lunch or while waiting for my MRI results. It was the moments where I had to simply let go and accept the present as it is.
Being anxious over not having the ability to make a sandwich wasn’t going to give me the power to do so. Same goes for the MRI, anxiety over what the results might show wasn’t going to change what the results already are.
I brought awareness behind my thoughts that triggered my anxiety, and in doing so, the suffering it caused dissolved. I soon understood that it wasn’t the experience that needled my distress, but rather my thoughts centered around it.
It’s important to note that our thoughts—primarily negative—amplify what we’re experiencing by tenfold. They complicate what simply is by building a narrative around it. Eventually, we become lost in that story and as a result face pain and suffering in forms of stress, fear, and anxiety.
For example, my husband had to assist me with daily routine tasks, and instead of just letting it be, I thought about how I wish I would’ve just pulled a muscle instead, or how I should’ve warmed up more prior to exercising, and so on. My thought’s built a narrative around what could’ve been different when I injured myself, so I didn’t need to be a burden on my husband in the present. In turn, I felt uneasy and frustrated.
I know it’s painful to let go of resistance and surrender to and accept what is. But it’s also the only way we can open ourselves up to allow what’s meant to be flow through. Even through the hardest of times, there’s always something that adds to our inner strength and resiliency or lessons for our personal growth.
I hope you can remember that you aren’t supposed to have it all figured out. You don’t have to hold onto the past. You don’t have to wait for the future. Life is always going to be right now, in the present. Whatever is happening in this moment, let it be. If thoughts do arise to create a tale around what you’re experience, practice being the mindful awareness behind them, and let them go by as clouds do in the sky.
What is in the present moment is only a single piece of a larger puzzle. Trust that the universe is taking care of you even if times haven’t felt the easiest to bear with lately.
With Love,
Jasmine
Heal, Grow, & Ripen is a weekly newsletter on embracing the journey through pain and suffering to harvest the sweetness of life with more presence, joy, and peace. Please feel free to share this with family and friends that might find it helpful!